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My Germophobia/Emetophobia
Current mood:
anxious
Germophobia/Emetophobia I wrote this at the height of my anxiety, please excuse the emotional stress. Why I hate sick customers. July 1, 10:40amI asked the customer how she was, She responds;"Oh I’m coming out of gastro, doctors said I’ll be okay. I got it from the public bathroom.”She was sick, from gastro, and not wearing a mask.She continues. “I’m just re-buying the food (that she possibly wasn’t able to digest and spilled her guts [vom*t] from eating)” Thanks, customer, I did not need to know that. I start freaking out inside, on the verge of tears but I hold it together. I stay silent and scan her stuff, barely touching the items. My mind is telling me to run, to scream, to curse her out, but I keep scanning, I don’t say anything. My mind is like; “Shes going to get me sick she’s going to get me sick she’s going to get me sick“ She says she wants $100 cash out.I think:F*ck. I have to touch this draw. She is actively sick. I’ve just touched her items. I’m going to contaminate the drawer by touching the handle and the money. I give her the money. No worries. I am free to go wash my hands upstairs.Customers roll in.Oh no. I ring the bell and I get a coworker, (I don’t remember her name) to take over. I say “I need to wash my hands.”I feel embarrassed, that this is a stupid or petty excuse to leave the checkout.I need to wash my hands because sanitiser is not enough. I go to the bathroom, still freaked out.Don’t touch anything don’t touch anything. she’s going to get me sick she’s going to get me sick she’s going to get me sick. why did she come in sick I wash my hands about 7 times, each time scrubbing over my hands three times with soap getting more fast with every second. It’s not enough. I need to wash more.There are still germs I am contaminated She’s going to get me sick she’s going to get me sick sshes going to get me sick sick going to get me sickI need to make sure there are no germs. I spray and wipe the screen with cleaning solution spray, it still ‘has germs’ on it even after I clean it.The screen is still contaminated I must not touch it The money tray still has germs on it even though I sprayed and wiped twiceThe hand sanitizer I’ve used, i cannot touch anymore, it has germs from me using that to wash my hands while serving that customer Every thing I touch has germs The checkout has germs. Even after wiping downStill anxious. She’s going to get me sick she’s going to get me sick I had to go to a different checkout after my break so it wouldn’t be, in my mind, contaminated.
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